Graduation

Living and growing up in Manila, the capital of the Philippines, I thought I had a pretty good understanding of how things work in the world. I mean, how hard could it be? You go to school, get a degree, get a job, start a family, have kids and die happy. And so there I was, finally making my parents proud and adding 4 letters before my name. I felt on top of the world.

I imagined this moment many times in my life. A time when school would finally be over forever. Everyone wearing those togas, black this time! The graduates feeling all excited, ecstatic, sad and nervous all at the same time. No wonder I saw a lot of tears that day. Not only from them but from the parents as well. I'm sure our parents were extremely delighted to see their children march off to get their diplomas. But I guess they were more relieved than anything. After all Filipino parents consider giving the education to their children their supreme mandate.

After all the ceremonies and camera flashes, I celebrated with my family. After that I felt I fell into a deep sense of blankness. For years before, it was completely routine. Year after year, I would wake up and go to school. Classes would start, during which all I would wish for is for the next vacation to come. Then when it finally comes, I would be bored in just a couple of weeks. That's the time I would wish classes starts again. The school may change, the classmates may be different, but it's basically the same idea.

But now, there's no "next term" or "next semester". There is just "Opportunity". That's what everyone calls it. I could do whatever I want. Then it hit me. What do I really want? Well years before if you asked me that question I would have answered with all the newest toys or the coolest cellphone or probably a car. But now it's for real. Decisions have to be made and the consequences can be great. From then on it becomes scary. You see, I consider myself a nearsighted person when it comes to these things. I really have no clear sense of future. Whenever I get that question in a job interview, I would answer with every good thing I could think of just to impress. Honestly though... I have absolutely no idea. All I could figure out is maybe one or two years from now. So the prospect of planning my life from this point onwards was really daunting for a simpleton like me.

With that I braced myself for things to come. With every journey, the first steps are the scariest and definitely the most exciting.